Organized Chaos - Volume 8
Parents Can Assist Teenagers in OCD Treatment
by Katherine L. Tackes, APSW
Child and Adolescent Center, Rogers Memorial Hospital
Despite being extremely annoyed with your parents when they nag you to do your chores or insist you eat all of your vegetables, you should know that parents can be useful to teenagers in helping to enhance the treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Just as teenagers with OCD need to be taught about OCD and the skills of how to handle their anxiety, parents need to be taught as well. Teenagers who involve their parents in their treatment can have more success in treatment.
It is very important to remember that your parents and you are on the same team fighting OCD . Sometimes it is easier to think of your Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) provider as your “coach”, your parents as your “assistant coach” and you as the “player”. This might seem kind of corny to think of it this way, but in my experience, it is essential to remember your parents are on your side and that in working together, OCD can be defeated.
Many parents feel guilty and have a lot of self blame
In my experience, I have seen many parents get very frustrated with their son’s or daughter’s OCD, and it sometimes comes out in very weird ways. Their frustration can be expressed as anger towards their son or daughter. This does not seem fair, since you have OCD and are already suffering enough. Many parents feel guilty, sad and at times have a lot of self blame. Their discussing these issues with your therapist can help decrease this anger, confusion and unfairness. It can also clarify why no one is to blame for OCD. This helps parents and teenagers understand where each of them is coming from.
Education is an important step to help parents understand what OCD is and how Exposure and Ritual Prevention (ERP) can be an effective treatment strategy. If parents better understand what their teen’s OCD symptoms are and why their teen is ritualizing, they can better assist with their teen’s treatment. In my experience I have witnessed education helping parents develop more realistic expectations for their teenager’s treatment. Confrontation, arguments and added stress can be lessened if teens and parents understand each other’s point of view about treatment expectations. Teenagers can get tips on how to inform their parents about OCD from their cognitive behavioral therapist, as well as from resources such as the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation.
Parents can act as an objective mirror
Just as it is essential for teenagers with OCD to understand how they cope with their anxiety, it can be beneficial for parents to understand how their teenager copes. Parents can act as an objective mirror to their offspring, helping them identify anxiety and when they appear to be anxious. This can help remind the teenager to use effective, healthy coping skills, versus destructive rituals to control anxiety. This takes time, patience and some practice, so assistance from your cognitive behavioral therapist may be necessary. It might seem like your parents are nagging when they offer feedback regarding your anxiety, but remembering they are acting as your “assistant coach” is key.
Although it can be embarrassing and sometimes uncomfortable, telling your parents about your obsessions and compulsions can be beneficial, especially if your parents or other family members are involved with these rituals. For example, some parents think they are helping by opening a door for their child who has contamination fears. Parents often times do this because they think it will help reduce their child’s anxiety. With the help from a CBT therapist, teenagers can teach their parents what are helpful things to do and what are notso helpful things to do when a teen is struggling with anxiety. In addition, you, your parents and your therapist can then create more effective exposures that target family behaviors that contribute to continued OCD.
Parents can also assist by taking you to your CBT therapist, driving you to locations where exposures can take place, taking part in exposures with you if needed and supporting you in school as well. Many parents become advocates for their children who have OCD. If you have re-reading, re-writing problems or other OCD symptoms that affect school and homework, your parents can make sure your school is doing its job to support your education. Teenagers who have OCD can sometimes fall behind in life and in school. Parents can assist in asking about an Individual Education Plan or if accommodations can be made for you at school. Reviewing these accommodations with your CBT therapist is also a good idea because they can help you and your parents decide if these accommodations are counterproductive to your treatment or not.
In conclusion, parents can be a great asset to their teen’s treatment. Through education parents can set realistic expectations for their teen and gain a better understanding of how they can play a role in their teen’s treatment. Many parents want to be taught about their children’s OCD and hopefully this opens the door for your parents to better understand you, simply as a person.
