Support Groups and Personal Recovery

Jim and Abby of the H-C Support Group

Paula, Doris, and Phyllis have explained how they went about setting up their online support groups for OC (obsessive-compulsive) hoarders in Online Self-Help Support Groups For OCD Hoarders. But, what is it like to belong to an online support group for OC hoarders? Most OC hoarders remember when they first realized that their over-collecting problem was, in fact, OC hoarding. Often this realization was the result of an article or television program. At other times, a professional diagnosis was made.

OC hoarders are often given hope and motivation to deal with their hoards and clutter. When they learn that there is a name (and a diagnosis) for this problem.

This hope and motivation may increase if OC hoarders learn that they are not alone in dealing with the challenge of OC hoarding -- that others share the same struggle.

Seeking Insight into Hoarding and Cluttering

Many of us who hoard excess stuff, and live in cluttered surroundings, do not yet have insight into OC hoarding. Even if we do, we may not know where to find proper resources to help us bring order into our lives. Sometimes, it is not the OC hoarder who searches for help, but rather a loved one, or a friend.

Locating resources can be difficult. Most Internet searches for hoarding, cluttering, or messiness, on search engines such as google.com will identify web sites that offer suggestions on how to get organized. Few of these sites are maintained by people with formal training in the treatment of OCD and its spectrum disorders.

Many OC hoarders lack the knowledge and understanding needed to deal with the extreme anxiety they experience when trying to "dehoard" on their own.

Online support groups fill some of these needs by pointing members toward appropriate help. We do this through our cyber discussions and by maintaining electronic lists of appropriate resources.

How to Join an Online Support Group for OC Hoarders

To join an online support group, OC hoarders must first use their personal Internet Service Provider (ISP), or free Internet access (i.e. via a library) to enter into the Internet. They must find the support group that they are interested in, and then sign up for it.

Different online support groups operate differently when dealing with potential new members. Following is a description of the way our group works.

First, Get an E-mail Account

An OC hoarder will need an e-mail account to communicate with an online support group. Someone who has personal online access probably has an established e-mail address. One who can access the Internet only at school, at work, or at the library, can still establish a personal e-mail account. They do this by using a free e-mail service, such as Yahoo!, Hotmail, NetZero, or Juno.

Then, Initiate the Joining Process

Since our online support group is located on Yahoo! Groups, a potential new member will go to Yahoo! Groups to sign up for the group. We provide our Yahoo Groups web site address to potential new members. This is because our group is a private unlisted one. We also strongly recommend setting up a Yahoo! ID at the same time. This is to make full use of all the articles, bookmarks, and other resources for OC hoarders on our web site. (Setting up a Yahoo! ID involves choosing an online name and a password.)

Decide Whether to Join

Right after we first hear from someone who may be interested in joining the group, we send out several informational e-mails. This includes Chapter 23, a careful discussion of OC hoarding by Drs. Randy Frost and Gail Steketee.

It is not unusual for potential new members to be struck by the similarities between their situations and those discussed in "Chapter 23."

Next, our group's moderators communicate by e-mail with the potential new member. This allows them to clarify that our specific group is aimed at OC hoarders. It is not for family members or friends of hoarders. We explain that our group is structured as a safe, supportive, and completely confidential environment for OC hoarders. Group members are expected to work toward dehoarding goals of their own choosing.

The next steps for a potential member will be: concurring with a Confidentiality Agreement, and filling out an Introduction Form (to be shared with current members).

This process seems cumbersome, but it is an important process. It permits our group to establish a safe place. This safe place permits us to communicate openly and freely about our shared challenge of OC hoarding.

At this point, the new member is introduced to our online support group. This is by means of a message posting. As our online support group has grown strong and active over the years. It has become clear that, while diverse, our members are truly part of the same international family.

Being a Member by Participating Regularly

What do we do online in our posts to one other? We support and help motivate each other. We share information about treatments, and throw in healthy doses of humor. If we have goal-related dehoarding questions that others may already have answered, we request suggestions from the online support group.

We help each other break through the sense of isolation that many of us felt prior to joining our group.

Posts are expected to be on-topic (i.e. related to hoarding). We post as often we like, except that we all must post at least one time per month. This is to let others know how we are progressing toward our dehoarding goals. We also encourage our members to communicate with each other privately, or as it is known, "off-list."

Tips on Dealing with Support Group E-mail Messages

Members are not required to read or respond to every message sent to the group.

When replying to messages already sent, group members don't include the entire text of those messages but rather use cut and paste techniques. (Hint: First highlight the text you wish to copy. Then use CTRL-C to copy that text into your computer's memory. Then, in your new message, paste the copy in your computer's memory by hitting the CTRL-V keys.)

We encourage each member to choose an e-mail delivery system that makes it convenient to deal with incoming e-mails. For example, the "Daily Digest" puts all e-mails received by the group into one large daily e-mail. Or, a group member may choose not to receive messages by e-mail at all, but instead to read them online at our web site.

It is important not to let our e-mail in-boxes become overwhelmed by too much incoming e-mail. None of us needs to save group e-mails either. Since all posts are available to us in our online support group's archives on our Yahoo! Group's web site.

Making Progress

The best part of being a group member is celebrating each other's successes. We have small and large victories. We celebrate successes of all sizes. We encourage one another to go forward in our dehoarding.

Some stories of major dehoarding successes are shared in several point-of-view messages in another part of this web site.